'The Secret'
MUSIC The Secret
CAST
'The Chief' God like character who is never seen, only heard
Queenie An anti-hero who has to keep the world balanced
(with people of all ages) by giving away the secret
of staying young. She always carries a clipboard,
has bad feet and hates all children.
Tonto Queenie's assistant. Can change his appearance.
The Boys
Stephen : Who is older than the others.
Michael : A bit cheeky, always ready with an answer.
Mark : Often has good ideas but nobody listens.
Paul : Always ready to jump in with both feet.
John : Is very brave so long as it's someone else.
Ben : Much younger, always trying to keep up.
Truth Fairy Is a goody. (Panto character ? Frankie Howard type)
Treefolk Only heads are seen. ALL OR SOME
OF THESE CAN
Earthmen People from underground. BE THE SAME
PEOPLE AND
Scouts CAN BE ANY AGE
Singer 1930's (Male) CAN BE THE
Singer 1950's SAME PERSON
Singer 1980's (Female)
M.C./D.J./Caller CAN BE ONE PERSON
Salvation Army
NightClubers
Bingo Players
ACT 1
Musical intro' with verse 1 of 'The Secret' sung from off.
Once long ago in a land not far from here.
There lived a people who spent their time in fear.
With time ticking away, they grew older every year.
With time ticking away, their world would soon disappear.
Dear oh dear, lend an ear, for the secret.
Scene 1 'Secretia' Half Stage Dimly Lit.
(QUEENIE IS SITTING (DOZING) WITH CLIPBOARD ON HER LAP, SUDDENLY
SHE IS LIT BY A PIN SPOT AND AN UNSEEN 'GOD-LIKE' VOICE IS HEARD.)
THE CHIEF “Queenie? Queenie, are you dozing?”
QUEENIE (WAKES WITH A START) “Oh, it's you Chief! Sorry I nodded off. I don’t know what's the matter with me, I must be getting ol.."
THE CHIEF “Old did you say? Well you know who's fault that is! You had the chance to keep young and you turned it down. At least I took pity on you and gave you a job handing out the 'Secret'”.
QUEENIE “Oh yes, and I'm very grateful! It just seems a shame that I'm going around giving other people the secret of staying young and I can't share in it!”
THE CHIEF “Well you know the rules. You had the secret once but you lost it! If you're not careful you will also lose this job! You are supposed to keep the world balanced with the right number of every age and yet I see the world has tilted another 5 degrees this week!. Now get on with handing out 'Secrets' as quickly as you can.”
QUEENIE “Yes of course Chief. I've just got some washing to..... I'll..get straight on with it.”
THE CHIEF (VOICE & LIGHT FADING) “See that you do!”
QUEENIE (TO HERSELF) “Oh dear! I'm in trouble again. It's all that Tonto's fault! Where is he?' (CALLS OUT) 'Tonto....Tonto....TONTO!”
(TONTO ENTERS FROM S/R)
TONTO “Morning Queenie, did you call?”
QUEENIE “I've told you a hundred times, don't come that way. No-one can go through 'Secretia'!”
TONTO “It's alright , it has no effect on me. I've grown allergic to it!”
QUEENIE “Oh, stupid boy! You don’t mean allergic you mean immune. Anyway, no-one is completely immune, not even me.' (PULLING TONTO TO HER) 'Going through Secretia means passing through the corridors of time itself If you are trapped in one of those corridors you'll be suspended in time. Imagine having to say and do the same things over and over again... Forever!”
TONTO “You mean a bit like Noel Edmonds!”
QUEENIE “Never mind the lip. You should take things more seriously. I've been in trouble with 'The Chief' because of you!”
TONTO “Why, what have I done?”
QEENIE “Nothing. That's the trouble! You haven't been finding enough people to give 'The Secret' to.
The Chief says the world is tilting because there are not enough young people to keep it balanced'. (LOOKS AT CLIPBOARD) 'According to my records, you haven't found one deserving case for weeks!”
TONTO “I have!”
QEENIE “You haven't.”
TONTO “Well I've been trying. What about that retired School Teacher?”
QUEENIE “Too Old.”
TONTO “All right then, that Army Cadet?”
QUEENIE “Too Young!”
TONTO “The Plumber?”
QUEENIE “No!”
TONTO “The Estate Agent?”
QUEENIE (WITH A NASTY TASTE IN HER MOUTH) “Oh No!”
TONTO “What about that Politician?”
QUEENIE “Well they never grow up anyway! Now just make up your mind to go out there and find
some deserving cases. I don’t care where you find them just so long as they can earn
'The Secret Of Staying Young'. Now I've got some washing to do and then I'll be out
there to check up on how you're doing!”
TONTO “Right. Leave it to me.”
(HE RUNS OFF S/R)
QUEENIE "Not that way... Tonto... Oh I'd better go and make sure that he's alright.” (SHE HOBBLES AFTER T' MUTTERING) “That boy'll be the death of me!”
--------------------------------------------------------
Scene 2 "A Street" Full Stage 'Park' cloth with railings in front
(SALVATION ARMY ARE IN FRONT OF RAILINGS SINGING 'SHINE A LIGHT'
VARIOUS PEOPLE ARE WATCHING INCLUDING 'THE BOYS'. TONTO ENTERS
HALF WAY THROUGH SONG. S.A. MARCH OFF DURING LAST BARS OF SONG
FOLLOWED BY ALL ONLOOKERS EXCEPT BOYS AND T')
TONTO (SAYING TO HIMSELF AS HE COUNTS BOYS) “Six! That's a bit of luck, Queenie will be
pleased. Six in one go!”
JOHN “Did somebody say something?”
TONTO “Oh I forgot, they can't see me!” (HE TWISTS ROUND THREE TIMES)
PAUL “Where did he come from?”
STEPHEN “Hello. Who are you?”
TONTO (IN A FALSE MYSTERIOUS WAY) “Me? Oh I'm no-one really. Just a traveller passing by....An observer of life....Someone who comes and goes..and..is simply looking through a window at the world....A shadow who sees everything and misses nothing...A fly on the wall of the universe...A,”
MICHAEL “What a load of C..”
MARK (HAS PUT HIS HAND OVER MICHAEL'S MOUTH) “Alright!”
MICHAEL “Codswallop, I was going to say!”
PAUL “So who are you really?”
TONTO “My name is Tonto, and everything I said is true.”
STEPHEN “Yeah, now pull the other one it's got bells on!”
TONTO “It is true that's why you couldn't see me at first. I can be anything at all. I can go anywhere and do anything!”
JOHN “Anything?”
TONTO “Anything at all!”
BEN “If you can become anything, why don’t you become ..a..a.. millionaire?”
TONTO “I am one!”
MICHAEL “Oh yeah we really believe that!”
PAUL “Make yourself invisible now then.”
MARK “Yeah. Or turn into a tree or something.”
TONTO “Why should I?”
MICHAEL “You can't do anything! It's codswallop like I said.”
STEPHEN “Yeah!”
BEN “You're...A waste of space!”
(EVERYONE NODS)
TONTO (SIGHS) “Oh very well.” (HE TWISTS ROUND THREE TIMES)
PAUL “Where did he go?”
JOHN “Hey, that's great!”
(BOYS LOOK AROUND FOR TONTO. TONTO WAVES HANDS MYSTICALLY
AT A LEAF ON THE FLOOR AND IT BEGINS DANCING IN THE AIR.
THE BOYS ARE IMPRESSED.)
STEPHEN “Alright. We believe you, you can come back now!”
(TONTO REMAINS INVISIBLE TO BOYS. LEAF DISAPPEARS INTO WINGS)
MARK “Come on, the jokes over.”
MICHAEL “Where are you?”
JOHN (LOOKING ROUND) “Where do you suppose he is?”
PAUL “Come On.”
BEN “I didn't mean you were a waste of space. Honest!”
(TONTO TWISTS ROUND THREE TIMES AGAIN AND CAN BE SEEN BY BOYS)
PAUL “Cor!”
STEPHEN “How do you do that?”
TONTO “Oh it's easy. I flit through time!”
JOHN “Show us how to do it. We'd like to flit through time.”
MARK “Cor, yeah. That'd be great. We could do anything!”
PAUL “Yeah, anything! We.....could go......forwards and find out the answers to the homework that we've got to hand in tomorrow,…. today!”
MARK “That's no good, you'd still have to copy it all out and that's the hardest bit!”
PAUL “No....It'd be alright..you..could..photo your finished homework on your phone tomorrow, flit back to today..hand it in today..and then..it would be there tomorrow for you to copy for today!”
STEPHEN “Can you shut up. You're giving me a headache!”
MICHAEL “More codswallop. It's catching!”
JOHN “So what happens when you get fed up with being a 'Fly on the wall of the Universe' or whatever it was you said?”
STEPHEN “Yes. What do you really do all day?”
TONTO “Oh I help Queenie a bit...Giving out Secrets.”
BEN “Secrets?”
STEPHEN “Secrets of what?”
MICHAEL “Secrets of the universe! He's an encyclo......encyclo.... He's a door to door salesman!”
TONTO “I help keep the world balanced by giving people the secret of staying young.”
PAUL “What's being young got to do with balancing the world?”
TONTO “The world has to be balanced with people of all ages...But before you ask, I'm sorry our books are full. I can't possibly give out any more secrets. I'm sure you're all very deserving cases. But it's more than my life's worth to take on any more people who want to stay young forever. I'm sorry that's just the way it is!” (PAUSE) “No I'm sorry, it's no good pleading with me. There's nothing you can do....I'm sorry.”
PAUL “We could go on a waiting list like they do for Hospital!”
JOHN “Yeah. Then at least we’d get a go eventually!”
TONTO “No I’m sorry it’s out of the question. Besides, I can’t just give you the secret, I’m only allowed to give you clues. You have to find out for yourself!”
STEPHEN “So what’s the first clue?”
TONTO (WALKING AWAY AND GRINNING AT THE AUDIENCE) “Oh I don’t know I’ll be in big trouble with Queenie!”
MARK “Look, what harm can it do? We probably wont get the answer anyway!”
MICHAEL “And don’t worry about your ‘Queenie’, we’ll sort her out!”
TONTO “Well alright. But remember, I can only give you the clues. It’s up to you to work it out by visiting the places in the clues. I’m not allowed to help you!”
STEPHEN “We understand. Now what’s the first clue?”
TONTO “Alright. It’s a rhyme, so listen :-
‘TREES ARE WHERE BIRDS CAN BRING UP THEIR YOUNG
IN SAFETY BEFORE THEY FLY FREE.
IF YOU WANT TO LEARN HOW TO NEVER GROW OLD,
FIRST YOU MUST VISIT A TREE!’
PAUL “Say all that again.”
(TONTO REPEATS RHYME)
BEN “I don’t understand!”
MARK “Well it’s obvious we’ve got to visit a tree. But where?”
TONTO “Alright. Maybe this will help.”
(TONTO SINGS V2 OF ‘THE SECRET’ WITH VOICES FROM OFF IF NEC’))
'High on a hill there's a tree that you can climb
and you'll know the secret if you can learn the rhyme.
But you'd better be quick you're getting older all the time
Yes you'd better be quick cause quite soon you're gonna find
there's no time, stand in line, for the secret.'
STEPHEN “So where are there trees on a hill?”
MICHAEL “There’s plenty of trees in the park!”
PAUL “Of course! Come on lets go.”
(THE BOYS EXIT. TONTO WALKS FORWARD, TALKING TO HIMSELF)
TONTO “Ooh good. Queenie will be pleased. Six secrets in one go!”
QUEENIE (ENTERS) “Six secrets? What are you talking about?”
TONTO “Oh there you are. You’ve just missed them. I’ve got six new customers!”
QUEENIE “Who are they? Not people who are too old I hope.”
TONTO “Oh no. These are all kids.”
QUEENIE (EXPLODES) “Kids? You know I hate kids.”
TONTO “Oh I forgot.”
QUEENIE “Kids are noisy little brats! They should be banned forever!”
(PANTO TYPE HISS)
TONTO “Oh come on Queenie. You know you don’t mean it.”
QUEENIE “Of course I mean it! Besides what’s the use of giving the secret to them? They wont balance
the world they’re already young. You stupid boy you’ve done it again!”
TONTO “Sorry.”
QUEENIE “Get after them quick and see if you can stop them.”
TONTO “But I can’t stop the process once it’s started. You know that!”
QUEENIE “No but you can send them the long way round!”
TONTO “The long way round?”
QUEENIE (POINTING DOWNWARDS) “The long way round!”
TONTO “Oh. That long way round! Leave it to me.”
(TONTO RUNS OFF WITH QUEENIE HOBBLING BEHIND.
HALF STAGE TABS CLOSE. THE TRUTH FAIRY HAS ENTERED.)
T/FAIRY “HELLO ALL, NO PLEASE DON’T LAUGH?
I’M WELL AWARE THAT I LOOK DAFT
IT’S NOT MY FAULT, THEY CAN’T GET THE STAFF,
THE WORSE BIT IS THE (BLOODY) DRAUGHT!”
(PULLS DRESS DOWN)
(TO WINGS) “Have I got to speak in rhyme all the time?….No! Thank the lord for that!”
(TO AUDIENCE) “Right. Now I’ve been listening to what’s been going on and I’ve decided to follow the boys!”
(TO WINGS) “What?. Tell them who I am?.. In rhyme? Have I got to? Oh alright! If I must
(TO AUDIENCE) ‘I AM THE LITTLE TRUTH FAIRY!’
‘No dear Truth not Tooth! There’s always one!’
‘I AM THE LITTLE TRUTH FAIRY
I COME TO LEND A HAND
I’M ALWAYS THERE WHEN NEEDED
WITH MY MAGIC WaND.’
(TO WINGS) “WaND? That should be WAND! Who writes this stuff?”
(TO AUDIENCE) “Enough of that. I’ll tell you in my own words. Many years ago I used to live behind a Gooseberry bush. Until, one day they built a Dance Hall on the site, of course it’s a Bingo Hall now! So since then I’ve had nowhere to live. Ah!
(TO WINGS) ‘What? I have introduced myself! What? Curtsy? In this dress? You must be joking! I wasn’t born yesterday you know!”
(TO AUDIENCE) “Good job too Mum was having her feet done! Now where was I? Oh yes,
I’ve been listening to what’s been going on. And I’ve decided to follow the
boys and keep an eye on them. I don’t trust Queenie, or that Tonto. I think
they’re just going to send the boys on a wild goose chase. But I intend to see
that the boys find the secret. In fact, between you and me, I’d like to know
what the secret is myself. So don’t worry if it looks as though anything’s going
to happen to the boys, I’ll be there with my magic WaND. WAND! Now I’d
better go and catch them up. Tarrah for now!”
(SHE SKIPS OFF - TRIPPING AS SHE GOES)
(LINK-CHORUS FROM OFF REPEATING V2 OF ‘THE SECRET’)
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Scene 3 The Park Full Stage Park Cloth With Large Tree In Front.
Tree has a number of large holes.
(ENTER BOYS)
PAUL “Here are! This is a tree on a hill!”
STEPHEN “All right, it’s not a race! There are loads of trees in the park it could be anyone!”
JOHN “Well I’m not looking forever. This tree looks fine to me.”
MARK “Yes but it’s got to be the right tree with clues and I don’t see any clues hidden round this one!”
STEPHEN “Right everyone look for clues.”
(MICHAEL STARTS TO CARVE HIS NAME ON THE TREE)
PAUL “I’ll look round the back.”
JOHN “I can’t see anything that looks like a clue.”
STEPHEN “It could just as easily be one of those tree’s over there.”
PAUL “Well lets look over there then.”
(A FACE APPEARS AT ONE OF THE HOLES)
1st T’ “Oi.. What are you doing?”
MICHAEL “Cor, you frightened the life out of me. Who are you?”
1st T’ “I’m one of the Treefolk! And I don’t like small boys carving their names!”
BEN “He’s very sorry, aren’t you Michael?”
MICHAEL “Yeah.”
STEPHEN “We had no idea there was anyone inside the tree.”
1st T’ “I’m not inside the tree. I am the tree!”
JOHN “I didn’t know trees could see and talk.”
1st T’ “Of course I can see and talk. That’s what my heads for!”
MICHAEL “Isn’t your head a bit small for such a big tree?”
MARK “Shut up Michael. He might be funny about the size of his head!”
1st T’ “Oh I’ve got lots of different heads. Look!”
(MORE HEADS APPEAR AT THE OTHER HOLES. EACH SAYS ‘HELLO’ IN TURN)
JOHN “Isn’t it confusing with so many heads? What happens if you can’t make up your mind?”
2nd T’ “Oh we always agree. We’re a family!”
MICHAEL “Yeah, but who’s the head of the family? HA HA”
3rd T’ “Oh we’re all equal! Haven’t you ever heard of a ‘Family Tree’?”
4th T’ “Can we get on please? I think I’ve got one of my headaches coming on!”
(TONTO HAS ENTERED DRESSED AS A TREE. BUT UNSEEN BY BOYS)
1st T’ “Yes. What a good idea! Why are you all here?”
STEPHEN “We’ve been told that you have a clue to ‘The Secret’
(THERE IS MUCH GASPING FROM THE TREEFOLK)
2nd T’ “Honestly. Where do they get their ideas from?”
3rd T’ “I know. They get younger every day!”
2nd T’ “I blame the television!”
BEN “Have you got a television in there?”
4th T’ “I’ve definitely got a headache coming on!”
MARK “So do you have a clue?”
3rd T’ “We can’t go telling them. Can we?”
PAUL “Oh go on?”
1st T’ “Alright. Now tell me, who sent you here?”
STEPHEN “Tonto”
1st T’ “And who did Tonto say he was working for?”
MICHAEL “Queenie.”
(TONTO IS TRYING TO ATTRACT THE TREES ATTENTION. HE TURNS 3
TIMES AS THE RHYME IS BEING SAID SO HE CAN BE SEEN BY BOYS)
2nd T “Oh well, it must be alright then!”
1st T “Alright, but you’ll have to listen carefully because it’s a rhyme!
MICHAEL “Oh we’re getting used to rhymes!”
1st T ‘MOVE THROUGH THE TREES TO A PLACE THAT’S NEARBYE.
WHERE THERE’S HOLIDAY FUN IN THE DAMP.
IF YOU WANT TO LEARN HOW TO NEVER GROW OLD
THEN FOLLOW THE TRAIL..’
TONTO (BUTTS IN) ..’WITH A LAMP’
1st T “What?”
2nd T “What’s going on?”
TONTO “It’s alright. I’m taking over now! Do you boys understand the clue?”
STEPHEN “Not a word!”
TONTO “Alright, see if this helps!”
(TONTO SINGS V3 OF ‘THE SECRET’)
'Far underground where the water doesn't flow
you'll find a world where the people never go
But you'd better leave now, there is no time to be slow
Yes you'd better leave now, cause quite soon you're gonna grow.
Don't be slow, go below, for the secret.'
MARK ‘So you’re saying that we’ve got to go underground?’
TONTO ‘Yes. If you walk over there, you’ll see a hole in the side of the hill with some steps going
down. There are lamps for you to use and the next clue is at the bottom of the steps.
PAUL ‘Right, come on!’
JOHN ‘If I get my trousers dirty again I’ll be in big trouble!’
(BOYS EXIT)
1st T ‘Tonto. What are you up to? You know you can’t interfere with the clues!’
2nd T ‘You changed the end of our rhyme. You can’t do that!’
TONTO ‘Well who’s going to stop me? You can’t.’
3rd T ‘Oh yes we can! Once the process has started no-one must interfere with it. Not you, Queenie
or anyone!’
TONTO ‘Oh that’s alright! I’m allergic to ‘The Process’!’
1st T ‘Allergic? I think you mean immune. But you’re wrong, no-one is immune. The process
is invincible, and we’re part of the process so we’re invincible!’
2nd T ‘That’s right. You can’t just ignore us…any more than you can get rid of us!’
TONTO ‘I can get rid of you any time I want.’
1st T ‘Oh yes, and how exactly?
TONTO ‘All I have to do is call up my friend to make you disappear!’
2nd T ‘You haven’t got a friend that can make us disappear!’
TONTO ‘Oh yes I have, and I can see him coming now.’
3rd T ‘Who? Where?’
TONTO ‘Over there. It’s a big DOG, looking for a TREE!’
(TREEFOLK ALL SHRIEK AND DISAPPEAR)
(TRUTH FAIRY ENTERS)
TONTO (RUBBING HIS HANDS) ‘Right. So Far so good. (SEES T/F) Who are you?’
T/FAIRY ‘I AM THE LITTLE TRUTH FAIRY
I COME TO LEND A HAND
I’M ALWAYS THERE WHEN NEEDED
WITH MY MAGIC WaND!’
TONTO ‘Don’t you mean wand?’
T/FAIRY ‘Look, don’t start. I’ve had a rough day! It’s my job to keep the boys from harm.
So where have you sent them?’
TONTO (RETREATS DOWNSTAGE) ‘What boys? I don’t know what you’re talking about!’
T/FAIRY (CATCHING UP WITH TONTO ON APRON) ‘Oh yes you do. Now where are they?’
TONTO ‘I saw some boys climbing trees over there. Maybe you should try them. Now I must be
getting on.’
(TONTO GOES TO MOVE BUT T/FAIRY WAVES WAND AND TONTO CANT MOVE)
TONTO ‘What’s happened?’
T/FAIRY ‘I wont let you move until you tell me the truth.’
TONTO ‘I’ve told you. I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
T/FAIRY ‘Look Tonto, (SNAPS FINGERS AND HOUSE TABS CLOSE BEHIND THEM) you’re in
my domain now! You can’t get help from Queenie or anyone else. The sooner you tell me
where you’ve sent the boys, the sooner I set you free!’
TONTO ‘Oh alright. I’ve sent them underground.’
T/FAIRY ‘Underground?’
TONTO ‘Yes. The Earthmen live down there!
T/FAIRY ‘Earthmen? What are you talking about?’
TONTO ‘I’d have thought you would have known about the Earthmen! Fairies are supposed to know
everything. Now can I go please?'
T/FAIRY ‘Less of the cheek! I’m sorry. I can’t be sure you’re not tricking me. You’re going
to have to show me exactly where the boys are. Come on!’
(TRUTH FAIRY CIRCLES WAND OVER TONTO’S HEAD AND THEY EXIT)
(QUEENIE NOW HOBBLES ACROSS MUTTERING ‘I’LL GIVE HIM KIDS!’)
Scene 4 Underground Half Stage Tabs Dark Various Rocks etc.
EARTHMEN ARE SHOVELLING AS THEY SING ‘RUNNING WATER’ (CAN BE ASSISTED BY HARMONIES FROM OFF).
AT END THEY CONTINUE WORKING AS PAUL, MARK, STEPHEN
AND MICHAEL ENTER HOLDING LAMPS)
PAUL ‘Come on. I’m sure the music came from this way!’
MARK ‘Hang on. We’ve left Ben & John way behind.’
(THEY WAIT, LOOKING INTO WINGS)
STEPHEN ‘I’d like to catch up with that Tonto! He said the next clue was at the bottom of the steps.’
MARK ‘Here they come! (CALLS OUT) Come on.’
STEPHEN ‘No wonder they’re so slow, they haven’t got a lamp!’
(BEN ENTERS, LEADING THE BIGGER JOHN)
JOHN (TRYING TO CONTROL THE SITUATION) ‘There you are Ben!’
MICHAEL (SNEERING) ‘You were helping Ben were you?’
JOHN ‘We were helping each other.’
STEPHEN ‘Yes Michael, and if we’d shared out the lamps the way we agreed, they wouldn’t have needed
each others help!’
(PAUL HAS SPOTTED THE EARTHMEN AND IS NUDGING MARK)
MARK ‘Pack it in!’
PAUL ‘No look!’ (HE POINTS AT EARTHMEN)
JOHN ‘EEK!….It’s alright Ben. I’ll hold your hand.’
(HE CLUTCHES BEN’S HAND AS IF HIS LIFE DEPENDED ON IT)
STEPHEN ‘It’s OK. This must be where we get the next clue!
MARK ‘Do you speak English?’
MICHAEL ‘Of course they speak English, we’re not abroad! The Parks still above us….I think.’
(EARTHMEN HAVE STOPPED DIGGING AND STARE AT BOYS)
STEPHEN ‘Hello.’
1st E ‘Why have you come here?’
MARK ‘We’ve been told that you have the next clue to the secret of staying young.’
2nd E ‘We have no secrets. You are mistaken.’
PAUL ‘Is there anyone else down here that might know?’
1st E ‘There is no-one else. Who sent you here?’
STEPHEN ‘Tonto.’
1st E ‘Who is Tonto?’
MICHAEL ‘He works for Queenie.’
2nd E ‘Ah, Queenie! Now we understand.’
3rd E ‘If Queenie’s behind it, then anything is possible.’
1st E ‘You must go back the way you came. Quickly, before it is too late!’
STEPHEN ‘We can’t go back without the next clue.’
MICHAEL ‘Yeah. Besides, I’m just getting used to it down here. What are you all digging for?’
MARK ‘Maybe it’s a huge Cemetery.’
2nd E ‘Water!’
PAUL ‘Water? There’s plenty up in the Park! I saw some Scouts having a water fight. Throwing it
over each other.’
(EARTHMEN ALL GASP AND START TO DIG FURIOUSLY)
STEPHEN ‘What’s the matter?’
3rd E ‘Every time you people throw water on the ground we have to clear it away!’
MARK ‘What do you mean?’
2nd E ‘Haven’t you ever wondered what happens when water soaks into the ground?’
(BOYS SHAKE THEIR HEADS)
3rd E ‘We have to dig a path for the water to travel away! You people keep us very busy.’
JOHN (PEERS AT THE GROUND) ‘Cor!’
BEN (COPIES JOHN) ‘Cor!’
1st E ‘Quiet! ….Something is coming! Leave now while you can.’
(JOHN DRAGS BEN TOWARDS THE WING
STEPHEN ‘Hold it. Lets all keep together.’
2nd E ‘You’re too late! Here it comes.’
(ENTER TONTO BEING PUSHED BY TRUTH FAIRY)
MICHAEL ‘Oh it’s only Tonto….and friend?’
(ALL THE BOYS PEER AT THE TRUTH FAIRY)
STEPHEN ‘Who are you?’
T/FAIRY ‘Oh I’m getting so sick of this!
I AM THE LITTLE TRUTH FAIRY
I COME TO LEND A HAND
I’M ALWAYS THERE WHEN NEEDED
WITH MY MAGIC WaND!’
(MICHAEL OPENS HIS MOUTH)
T/FAIRY ‘Don’t! Say a word.’
MARK ‘How did you come to be with Tonto?’
T/FAIRY ‘Well, as I said, I’m the Truth Fairy and I’m here to see that Tonto tells you the truth and
nothing but.’
BEN ‘Is a Truth Fairy anything like a Fairy Godmother? I never had a Fairy Godmother!’
MICHAEL ‘Neither have I.’
T/FAIRY ‘I can see I’m going to have trouble with you! What’s your name?’
PAUL ‘It’s Michael!’
T/FAIRY ‘Michael what?’
MICHAEL ‘No….Just Michael!’
STEPHEN ‘Pay no attention. I’m Stephen, that’s Mark, Paul, Ben and John. We’re all looking for the
secret of staying young!’
T/FAIRY Yes I know that. But I’m afraid that Tonto has been wasting your time. You wont find any
clues down here!’
(BOYS SURROUND TONTO)
JOHN ‘What does he mean?’
T/FAIRY (WAVING THE WAND) ‘Tell them Tonto.’
TONTO ‘I’m sorry, he’s right. I’ve sent you the wrong way.’
(EVERYONE GASPS)
BEN ‘I was right. You are a waste of space!’
PAUL ‘So which is the right way?’
TONTO ‘I’m sorry I can only give you the clue.’
T/FAIRY ‘Well this time make sure you finish the clue properly!’
(PAUSE)
T/FAIRY ‘We’re waiting.’
TONTO ‘Alright. Here goes…
MOVE THROUGH THE TREES TO A PLACE THAT’S NEARBY
WHERE THERE’S HOLIDAY FUN IN THE DAMP
IF YOU WANT TO LEARN HOW TO NEVER GROW OLD
THEN FOLLOW THE TRAIL …..TO THE CAMP!’
MARK ‘The Camp That’s the Scout Camp, in the park!’
MICHAEL ‘How do you know that?’
PAUL ‘Of course, he’s right! Come on. Before it gets dark up there as well!’
T/FAIRY ‘Hold it, hold it! It’s not that simple. I can’t be seen by ordinary humans and neither can
you Tonto. But what about the boys?’
TONTO ‘They’ll have to wear invisible suits!’
JOHN ‘Cor! Where can we get some of them?’
T/FAIRY ‘I know where they are. Follow me.’
PAUL ‘Come on then!’
(HE GRABS T/FAIRY BY THE ARM AND CHARGES OFF. OTHER BOYS ALL FOLLOW.
TONTO EXITS LAST MUTTERING…..)
TONTO ‘I don’t know what Queenie’s going to say!’
(REPRISE OF ‘RUNNING WATER’ BY EARTHMEN WHO MOVE DOWNSTAGE
TO APRON WITH THEIR SPADES. TABS CLOSE BEHIND THEM.)
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Scene 5 The Scout Camp Full Stage Park Cloth with Campfire in front
(ENTER CAMPERS WHO ASSEMBLE ROUND FIRE)
LEADER ‘Can everyone settle down please and we’ll start the Camp Fire!’
(THERE ARE SEVERAL CAMPFIRE SONGS & STUNTS DURING WHICH THE BOYS ENTER DRESSED IN SILVER (Invisible) SUITS. NOW THERE ARE HOT DRINKS PASSED ROUND BUT, BECAUSE THEY CANNOT BE SEEN BY THE CAMPERS, THE BOYS ARE LEFT OUT.. TONTO THEN APPEARS DRESSED IN A CAMPFIRE BLANKET. THE BOYS SURROUND TONTO AND THEY ALL MOVE DOWNSTAGE.)
Stephen “Well We’re here, and because they can’t see us we haven’t got a drink!”
Michael “Yeah I’m starving!”
Paul “So who’s going to give us the next clue?”
Tonto (MYSTERIOUSLY) “All in good time.”
Mark “Well we can’t ask any of them. They can’t see us!”
Tonto “It won’t be a human who tells you. The clue is hidden!”
Stephen “Where?”
Ben “Give us another one of your rhymes.”
Tonto “CONGRATULATIONS, YOU’RE HALF WAY THERE.
TO THE SECRET, BUT BE IN NO DOUBT.
TO FIND THE NEXT CLUE, YOU’LL HAVE TO COME BACK
AFTER THE FIRE IS OUT!”
John “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Michael “It means come back in the morning. Lets go home and get something to eat!”
Stephen “Hang on I’m not letting Tonto out of my sight.”
Tonto “Don’t worry I’ll meet you here in the morning. Must go.”
(TONTO TWISTS ROUND TO DISAPPEAR THEN WALKS INTO WINGS)
Mark “Where’s he gone? He’s done it again!”
Michael “Come on lets go."
(ENTER TRUTH FAIRY)
T/Fairy “Where’s Tonto?”
Stephen “He’s gone! He told us to meet here in the morning when the fire is out.”
T/Fairy “Alright I’m going to catch him up. See you in the morning.”
(THEY WALK OFF AS CAMPFIRE RESTARTS.)
Leader ‘Ok everyone. Tomorrow it’s the Patrol hike so one last song then bed.
ACT 1. CLOSES WITH EVERYONE SINGING ‘HOLD YOUR HANDS UP’
'The Secret' © Colin Siequien