'Sybil, Ruby and Friend'
'Sybil, Ruby and Friend'
A series of ‘fill-In’ links to run through the show.
S&R are the biggest gossips in town. It’s always a competition to see who can get in first.
Friend often opens her mouth but never quite manages to get a word in.
RUBY AND FRIEND WALK ON AND STAND LOOKING INTO AUDIENCE..
A SHORT PAUSE THEN SYBIL ENTERS.
Sybil ‘Ooh I really thought I was going to be late! I got held up. Dave came home early.’
(FRIEND AND RUBY EXCHANGE LOOKS)
Ruby ‘Oh well you can’t waste an opportunity.’
Sybil ‘No. No. He’s got a new part I had to help him fit it .........on the twin tub!’
Ruby ‘A Twin Tub?’
Sybil ‘Oh yes! Beats a washing machine every time.’
Ruby ‘How old is that?’
Sybil ‘Belonged to my Grandmother.... Still going strong.’
Ruby ‘I thought she died!’
Sybil ‘That’s why we needed the part.’
Ruby (EXCHANGES LOOK WITH FRIEND)... ‘Anyway none of the classes are out yet so you’re ok.’
Sybil ‘There seems a lot of parents here today! Some I’ve never seen before.’
Ruby ‘Well the Redhead with the ‘Skirt’ came in with Sarah’s Dad!’
(ALL THREE EXCHANGE LOOKS WITH MUCH NODDING OF HEADS)
Sybil (PAUSE) ‘Fancy!’
Ruby ‘I’ve seen her before! I think she works at the Gym in town.’
Sybil ‘Yes, I’m sure I’ve seen her! Always on a bike giving her knees an airing
(ALL THREE STARE FOR A MOMENT, THEN)
Ruby ‘Don’t know why she’s with Sarah’s Dad, I can’t believe he goes to the Gym.'
(NODS OF AGREEMENT)
Ruby You heard about the trouble in Dukes Road last night?’
Ruby ‘Had the Police round to No 14. Because of the row!’
Sybil ‘Don’t tell me she’s finally thrown him out?’ ‘About time!’
Ruby ‘That wasn’t the problem. The row only started when he tried to take the telly with him.’
Sybil ‘Oh they’re starting to come out now! Can’t see either of mine yet.
Ruby ‘No but there’s some from the same class!’
Sybil ‘...So did he get the telly?'
(THEY START TO MOVE SLOWLY ACROSS THE STAGE)
Ruby ‘No! She said he’d never got his entertainment from the telly before. So he wouldn’t miss it now.’
Sybil (PAUSE) ‘Fancy!’
Ruby ‘Well we all know where he’s been getting his entertainment from!’ (POINTS) ‘There’s mine!’
Sybil (WAVING) ‘So what’s she going to do now?’
Ruby ‘She’s had enough, says she’s moving out as well! Selling everything. Absolutely everything!’
Sybil (JUST AS THEY WALK INTO WINGS) ‘I wonder if she’s got a Twin Tub?’
ALL THREE RUN ON CHEERING AS THOUGH THEY ARE FOLLOWING A RACE
THEY STOP CENTRE STAGE AND, AS THE RACE OBVIOUSLY FINISHES IN
DISAPOINTMENT, GO ‘Ooh’
Ruby ‘That same boy won again! I’m getting fed up with this’
Sybil ‘I know! I’m sure he’s over 10!’
Ruby ‘Well I haven’t seen anybody win that I know.’
Sybil ‘These Sports Days are always the same. If the sun’s shining, and it’s free, they all come out!’
Ruby ‘What’s happening next?’
Sybil ‘It’s the ‘Mothers Race. Do you know anyone taking part?’
Ruby ‘Don’t look at me!’
Sybil ‘Well I’d have a go but I’m waiting for Dave.... He’s giving Harriet a service.’
(FRIEND & RUBY EXCHANGE LOOKS)
Sybil (PAUSE) ‘That’s the name we give our car! He’s been working late all week so he’s got to do it today.’
Ruby ‘Why Harriet?’
Sybil ‘Well my Mothers a bit deaf so when Dave said he’s give her a lift in the ‘’chariot’’
S & R (TOGETHER) ‘She thought he said ‘’Harriet’’
Sybil ‘And the names stuck ever since.’
Ruby ‘Hello the Ice Cream van’s arrived.’
Sybil ‘Better late than never.’
Ruby ‘The Mothers are lining up now.... What has ‘she’ got on?
Sybil ‘Don’t look! She just wants attention!’
(THEY ALL LOOK SIDEWAYS INTO WINGS THEN, AFTER A FEW SECONDS, EACH LOOK BACK)
Ruby Well she’s getting attention alright. Look at Sarah’s Dad! He’s got his video camera out.’
Sybil (PAUSE) ‘Fancy!’
Ruby ‘She’ll never win. You can’t run fast in tight shorts like that.’
Sybil (BITCHY) ‘I’m surprised those spindly legs can carry all that weight!’
Ruby ‘Yes her centre of gravity is-’
Sybil (INTERUPTS) ‘They’re off!’
(THEY MOVE THEIR HEADS FROM LEFT TO RIGHT AS IF FOLLOWING A RACE)
Ruby ‘She’s down! I knew it!’
Sybil ‘Well, you can’t run in shoes like that!’
Ruby ‘She doesn’t look like running fast comes naturally anyway......If you know what I mean?’
Sybil ‘I was hoping Dave would be here by now. The kids have hardly seen him these past weeks.’
Ruby ‘Been working late you say?’
Sybil ‘Yes some nights he’s gone back to work again after his tea.’
(RUBY AND FRIEND EXCHANGE LOOKS)
Ruby ‘So do we know who won?’
Sybil ‘With all the excitement I forgot to notice. It looks like.. a.. MAN!’
Ruby ‘They are all men. It wasn’t for Mothers it was a Fancy Dress Race!!!!’
Sybil ‘Well who’s the one who fell over then? He's wearing a top like one of mine!'
(THEY ALL PEER INTO THE AUDIENCE. THEN)
S & R (TOGETHER) ‘DAVE!’
(SYBIL STORMS OFF WITH RUBY AND FRIEND FOLLOWING)
RUBY AND FRIEND WALK ON FROM ONE SIDE CARRYING SHOPPING BAGS AND MEET SYBIL COMING FROM THE OTHER SIDE.
Ruby ‘Oh hello! You shopping too?’
Sybil ‘I’m only going to Boots for some medicine.’
Ruby ‘We’re on our way home we’ve had enough!’
Sybil ‘I know the crowds are getting worse. You can’t get near a Bus!’
Ruby ‘Tell me about it.’
Sybil Talking of Buses, did you hear that School is breaking up a week early this term?’
Ruby ‘No! Why?’
Sybil ‘Well my neighbour heard someone talking on the Bus, and they were saying that their Sister had been told
by one of the Teachers girlfriends!’
Ruby ‘What else did they say?’
Sybil ‘Well apparently all of the staff are up in arms over the change in coursework and none of them like one
of the new Teachers! Also..
Ruby (INTERUPTS ‘No I meant what else about breaking up early?’
Sybil ‘Oh, something to do with the Decorators needing more time
Ruby ‘Never mind how it’s going to affect parents! You say you need medicine?’
Sybil ‘It’s Dave. He’s got the most awful cold. Can’t stop sneezing.’
Ruby ‘He’s probably run down with all those extra hours he’s been working.’
Sybil ‘Well it must be something like that. Seems strange that no-one else in the family’s had it.’
Ruby ‘Yes. It’s always the kids that get it first in our house.’
Sybil ‘Same with us usually, but not this time.
Ruby ‘Mind you Sarah’s Dad often has a cold but I’m sure he gets his from outside the family....If you know what I mean!’
Sybil ‘Oh I know there’s a lot of it about.’
(MUCH NODDING OF HEADS)
Sybil ‘I bet no-one else sneezes as much as Dave though! They must hear him in the next street!’
Ruby (MIMICKING SYBIL) ‘Fancy!.....You keeping him home then.’
Sybil ‘Well, trying to. But he gets very restless!’
Ruby ‘Yes I know he likes to get out.’
Sybil ‘He says the fresh air does him good. But so far he seems to be getting worse.’
Ruby ‘And it must be playing havoc with his overtime!’
Sybil ‘Like I say, it’s just a mystery where he got it......’
(SHE IS INTERUPTED BY FRIEND WHO NOW SNEEZES VERY LOUDLY. S & R LOOK AT FRIEND ALMOST SUPRISED THAT SHE’S MADE A SOUND. THEN THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AS IT DAWNS ON THEM THAT FRIEND HAS A COLD. FRIEND HURRIES OFF WITH SYBIL RUNNING AFTER HER. RUBY FOLLOWS AND, LOOKING INTO AUDIENCE, SAYS...)
Ruby ‘So we know where Dave’s been doing his overtime!’
(RUBY NOW SNEEZES AND, LOOKING COY, PUTS HER FINGER TO HER LIPS SAYS ‘Schh.’ THEN TIPTOES INTO WINGS.)
Colin Siequien © 2012